The Lord says "Do", I cringe out of fear of the unknown but I do.
The Lord says "Say this..", despite my foggy brain I "say this" knowing Lord will do with His power with His words what He may.
The Lord says "Say this..", despite my foggy brain I "say this" knowing Lord will do with His power with His words what He may.
Still, even 'til now, a lot of me wants people to see that I do good. My lust for praise, after tuning in to what my yearnings actually sound like is as banging pots and jibberish baby talk.
If after all this time I still look for the constant encouragement of others,
If after all this time I still look for the constant encouragement of others,
have I not really seen Jesus' command as enough? That He's pleased with me when others don't see what I do?
Gaahhhhh.
Stupid human feelings. I know I slap myself for things I think, say or do most times. God? Your patient with me right?
In all this banter, I'm still talking about myself..
To get to the point, I know I've especially been bothered by not been given "proper praise" for things I do since I've moved back to Abbotsford (August 2008). It's come to minor explosions within me especially in the past year, and I feel the festering crap building up in me, higher and higher, and I know I've let the frustrations creep out some.
Lid's not goin stay on til I actually get somethin done with this.
So I was here with you Lord, in our green/brown room of our place that we are soon moving out of, reading The Practice of Godliness on the Chapter to do with Gentleness.
I've jus felt like You've laid your heart on mine and let me feel some of what You feel all the time. I spat about attention I don't get. I don't hear.. or don't think I hear of the spats You have about attention your nation doesn't give you.
Humbles me to know my concerns are so feeble. And Jesus, yours are great, your glory is unspeakable.
"To WHOM will you compare Me???
Or WHO is MY EQUAL? says the Holy One.
Lift your eyes..
and look! to the heavens:
WHO CREATED ALL THESE?
He who brings out the starry host one by one,
and calls them each by name.
Because
of His great power
and mighty strength,
not one of them is missing".
isaiah 40:25&26
Wow.
YES! Who has made all that we know to be there? The Holy One.
I suddenly feel so small again. I am awakened again to see HE is SO GREAT again.
And you're a jealous God! I know I've experienced jealousy.. i know I would give all to smite the person who was stealing my love's attention.
You're a patient God. I don't understand that. In all the things I know I do and I know what people in world must do.. that anyone in right mind would go nuts and impatient with the human race such as yourself. But Bible speaks of your patience, gentleness, love, compassion.
I've fallen in love with your pursuing heart Lord.
I love your Love.
I thank you so much for so much I know I don't even know of all the amazing tasks you perform day to day, second by second.
Show me how You've made me to give YOU the GLORY?! In all the ways you've knit me, how do I give you praise you deserve?... please, I'm at lost sometimes.
And none of that to even be about me giving you praise, but in that when you time to time search the world through for hearts that will love you, listen to you, when you are looking for your spirit within our souls screaming for praise to you, I believe it is You who has placed that desire within me to praise you in the first place and really it's your Holy Spirit in me!
GLORY. IS ALL YOURS.
I dont have to move the world. Already, the Lord has come to this world, He's stepped from God Almighty to humbled savior we know as Jesus Christ.
God, I see you.
You've made all that we see, you've made paths that we can venture that lead right to you.
Thank you for your Holy Spirit that you've poured into us.
To glorify you
and only you my Lord,
here I am.
Journalling: Gentleness
No comments:
Post a Comment
What do you think?